The Bear teaches 6th grade in a poor neighborhood. Every once in a while when the Phoenix Suns really suck, they pad the house by giving away tickets
Stealing My Fries — Updated
Papas don’t let your babies grow up to read Bullshit
I learned recently that several fathers have let their children read this Bullshit. I'm seriously thinking about calling Child Protective Services.
Body-Size Bigot
I must confess and probably apologize... I'm a body-size bigot.
Valentine’s tile
Valentine's Day has always sucked. Every girl in kindergarten didn't want to be my Valentine, and 50 years later it hasn't gotten any better.
That’s Mr. Savage to you
I just recently found out that in 1987 I made the biggest mistake of my life. I got married.
Fat Biker: Rim jobs
Fat Bikers are hell on wheels.
Pendejo Envy
We all think Freud was a fool for "penis envy". Well, I've got a similar theory about the other side of the taint.
The founding fathers were a little fucked up — Updated
This is a good time to remember the "Founders." But if one more wanna be GOP "thinker" tells me he "believes in" the Constitution, I'm just going to take a shit on his shoe.
Ceiling Stroke
Did I tell you the Bear had a stroke?
Don't worry it was long ago, and there are no obvious lasting effects other than (once in a while) she won't shut up about it.
Desert fall to winter
It's January 18. The sun is shinning, but the air is cool...
Time for fucking fall in Gilbert, Arizona.
Sailing
I always wanted to be a sailor -- owning my own little boat.
The Bear would never let me.
