Don't look. Tell me what color your dishwasher is.
I'd like to extend a heart-felt and giant "fuck you" to the entire health care system for treating us all like children.
Every Monday morning, I'm reminded why I hate Adolf Hitler. The "Never Forget" message is embedded right under my nose.
Since our first summer that we could understand English, we have all been told that the Fourth of July is America's birthday. Well like Dec. 25 for Jesus, it's a fucking arbitrary date picked out of their ass by politicians with a marketing agenda.
I've ranted, raved and complained like a 2-year-old with no cookie about the United States Tennis Association. And just when I thought I was out for good, they pulled me back in.
I learned something deep and dark about myself. If two of my friends ever go to hunt down the last white tiger on earth, the Bear and I would tag along, not say a fucking word, and laugh at all the wrong times. Sounds awful I know.
The joke continues. Rants and Swears "re-nominated me" for a Sunshine Award.
I've got no evidence to prove it, but I'm convinced I almost crushed a woman just to support the patriarchy.
Went on the Alaska Cruise with the Bear. The forecast said cloudy and rain every day. Just what we wanted when we booked this trip for June. We figured it would have been over 100 degrees for a month in Arizona by then. We figured wrong.
There's some shit for bloggers called a "Sunshine Award." It's for those who exhibit: Positivity Creativity Sunshine I know what you are thinking... and fuck you I could spread Sunshine...
It had been a long day and a half in a crowded room listening to stories about work while not getting any work done. I couldn't wait to head over to Hooters. It had been built in our imaginations like a combination of Camelot and Plato's Retreat. It was the first Hooters in the state -- newly opened in downtown Phoenix.