On Top of my Bullshit

This is my 100th post — who knew I was this full of shit. (I know what you are thinking… “Everyone knows that.” Fuck you; it was a surprise to me).

I started last January to post the bullshit emails I had to send to my fucked-up tennis team. My sage advice has been ignored (as it should be).

After a few months, I thought this would blog would “go away.” There are other “bullshit blogs” on the internet — I googled them. Most of them died after 10-20 posts. I figured the same would happen here.

But once Lewis Black read 3 of my stories on his internet show in April and May, my bullshit has been flowing like Taco Bell through a large intestine.

The Bear has been less than pleased at what she reads, but she agreed to just stop reading it. Better for both of us.

And she’s not alone. At one point, I had 40 people on the mailing list, but I’m down to less than 25. Most of the leftovers don’t bother to open the emails. This shit is not going to please everybody — it’s a fucking festivus miracle it pleases anybody (including me).

You would think that isolation would stop any sane individual, but not me.

I’m think I’m writing for 5 reasons:

  1. It’s like sex for middle-aged men — fun for me, don’t know if it’s any good for you.

  2. The more money Wix spends on advertising, the more readers see my rant: “Wix Sucks Really Hard” — it’s by far the most popular Bullshit. (Irony can be delicious.)

  3. About 3 times a year, USTA obviously spends money to promote its site, and I get 2 visitors a day to “Fuck the USTA” (making it second on the Bullshit list).

  4. Some times my phone pops up a notice: “A visitor from xxxxx is on bullshit”. Don’t know why, but that makes me smile.

  5. Facebook is constantly popping up ads to “Boost Your Bullshit Site” — makes me laugh every time.

One disappointment is VW has been spending a ton of money on advertising. But that hasn’t brought people to the Lying Nazi Bullshit Diesel stories. Maybe if I took out “Nazi” and “Bullshit”, Google would find it? Ohh well, not worth it — can’t have every fucking thing you want.

I tried a few things to make this Bullshit “better”. At one point I set up comments, but Wix makes you pay for more than “10” comments. Fuck you Wix. Sorry commenters, this bullshit isn’t worth it.

I added categories and a few buttons to most and least popular posts. But nobody clicks “categories”. Same with the search box.

No one noticed my Top 10 list has 11 blogs (make that 12 with this one). I could say my readers are dumbs shits. But we all know this bullshit isn’t good enough for anyone to give a flying fuck about top 10 or 11 or 12. It’s Bullshit, not Lord of the Rings trivia.

So now it’s the end of 2017, and in a few days a new year starts for the Bullshit Blog. Will there be 100 posts next year? Probably not.

But we’ll see if in 2018 I can stay on top of my Bullshit.