Who turns on the stupid switch when people walk through parking lots? They fucking wander like lemmings across the lane where the goddamn cars go.
Look both ways and walk in a straight line like they taught you in kindergarten you dumb mother fuckers.
I shouldn’t have to sit in my Lying Nazi Bullshit Diesel for 5 minutes waiting for your fucking fat-ass family to cross in front of Texas Roadhouse Barbecue.
And if the pre-diabetes-family is in the middle of the lot, hold your type-2-diabetic-family back for 5 seconds and let a few cars go.
I can see a goddamn parking space 6 spots away, and there’s 5 cars waiting. But 3 fat-ass families are wading through the parking lot like it’s a a cold day at the beach and no one wants to go all the way in the water. Each one is slowly walking, stopping, giggling and waiting for the next dumbass to wade in. Fuck.
I would understand if grandma was in a wheel-chair or if the kids were wearing helmets to dinner — maybe it takes a little more time for your clan to cross the road.
But when you can walk and talk, and your eyes fucking work – don’t hold up the traffic. Go directly to your car, do not pass Go, do not collect $200. And don’t fucking stop or stagger in a crooked, single-file line while people are waiting.
I swear to god, the next fucking group of shitheads that wanders in front of me are going to be American heroes, because this “terrorist” is going to plow through them like Shiites in an ISSIS village.
OK, OK, that’s a little too far and might be a little frightening (even to me.)
But don’t be surprised, if I start blowing the horn, flipping you off and screaming “Get out of the road you dumb mother fuckers” to you and your youngins.
OK, OK, I won’t even do that. But I’ll be thinking it — goddamn it, I’ll be thinking it.
Keep that in mind when the stupid switch goes off in your head, and you start wondering around the parking lot like it’s your fucking driveway.