Goodbye Ruby Tuesday

One of the best bullshit stories I ever heard came from Mike Brennan — or at least I’m blaming him for it.

“I met Ruby Tuesday — you know from the Rolling Stones’ song,” Mike may have said – in 1990-something. “He’s my neighbor.”

Wow, so the song Ruby Tuesday is about a guy — that’s weird, check the lyrics some time… And that guy knew Mick Jagger and Keith Richards in the 60’s, and 30 years later this dude moved to Gilbert, Arizona.

“You know the lips logo,” Mike may have said way back when. “Well Ruby Tuesday designed that, and that’s how he knew the Rolling Stones.”

lips urinals

So no relation to the hamburger chain. Nope.

I believed that story for at least 20 years. I repeated it to others. Mike only talked about this once. I never asked about it again. It was just one of those bullshit factoids people share between sets at a tennis match.

It was just the kind of bullshit I love to remember and share with all the unfortunates who have to listen to me in person.

But I just wrote a blog about “Spotting Bullshit” so I thought I better google it — before I put it in the Bullshit Blog (what the fuck happened to my standard of never checking or linking and letting my bullshit flow as freely as a wild stream through a septic tank. Goddamn it, standards suck.)

But this time I hit the Google. Shit…

There was no Ruby Tuesday. The guy who created the lips logo is named John Pasche, for fuck’s sake. Not even a Tuesday let alone a Ruby. Fuck.

Keith Richards said he “may” have written the song about a “groupie” or he may have written it about a girlfriend, or Mick Jagger may have written some of the lyrics.

That’s the great thing about Rock ‘n Roll history, they were all so fucking high, no one can really remember or really knows.

The other great thing about this story is that it’s 2nd and 3rd hand bullshit at best. I’m not really sure if Mike talked directly to “Ruby Tuesday” or if his neighbor met “Ruby Tuesday,” or if I made this whole damn thing up in a dream and blamed Mike…

You know I had a lot of back pain and opioids in the 90’s, so there’s many different possible root causes for this kind of bullshit to take hold in my brain.

Either way, this was the first Bullshit Blog story that was verified 100-percent grade AAA bullshit. I’ll never get to tell this tale again.

So Goodbye Ruby Tuesday. Who could hang a name on you…

No one, because like Santa Claus and Jesus, you don’t fucking exist.

UPDATE: Aug. 31, 2018

After reading the story, Mike Brennan responded. Once I got past the big “fuck you,” he confirmed the story came from him.

But hey this guy also convinced the local news he was Ruby Tuesday and had created the lips logo. So it’s not just my bullshit or Mike’s bullshit — this is the kind of bullshit that can fool the media too… (At least the 1990’s before google came along.)