My Lying Nazi Just Won't Die

My Lying Nazi Bullshit Diesel’s trip to hell has been delayed — again.

I had the appointment to turn in the fucking thing just after Labor Day. But my new car was delayed, and I had to cancel the appointment. I assumed, I could call up that dealer anytime and reset it.

Wrong again.

“You have to log into the claims platform and set the appointment online,” the fucking chat bot typed at me. “The dealers set the appointment times when they are available, and we can’t control that.”

Bullshit.

The dealers would only make appointments available on Tuesdays. My new car is in Mesa, and I work in Tucson. I want to turn in my lying nazi diesel on the weekend. I bought it on the weekend, they are open on the weekends. Why the fuck won’t you take this piece of shit back on the weekend?

“We need 14 days notice,” the chat bot typed. “So we can send all the paperwork and payment out to the dealer.”

You didn’t take 14 fucking days to take my money when I bought the goddamn thing you piece of shit robot.

Searched every dealer in Phoenix and finally found one that would take an appointment on a Friday. But it was 3 more Fridays after my new car arrived.

“Will you be buying a new VW,” the dealer said when he called to confirm the appointment.

“No, I will not.” I said.

I managed not to say. “Because you fucking nazi bastards have been lying to me since 2012 about this car, what it is worth and how to get my fucking money back.”

Crushed VW's

I believe they have to throw this car away. I don’t think they can sell it to anyone else since it will never pass emissions. Maybe they can drive it to Mexico or Cuba and get rid of it there, but they definitely can’t give it away in this country.

I have a nightmare of my first trip to Mexico City, call a cab, and they come get me in my own fucking lying nazi bullshit diesel.

For about 2 seconds I thought about taking delivery on the new car and parking the lying nazi in the driveway until I can turn it in. But then I looked at the check book.

I can’t buy a new fucking car without the money from this fucker first. So every week I’m filling it with as little diesel as possible and hoping I can push this thing into the dealer on empty.

You know that shit is not going to happen, and those bastards are going to siphon every last drip to put in the next bullshit diesel they sell.

God damn it, will no one rid me of this troublesome priest of a lying nazi diesel?