Five Things That Better Fucking Happen in 2019

Fuck New Year’s Resolutions.

That’s just a god damn wish list. By February, most of us are still smoking or drinking and are fatter than ever.

Instead let’s make a list of shit that better happen or we go all Yellow Vests like the French.

Top 5 Things That Better Fucking Happen in 2019

5) Somebody with some fucking authority in the US Government calls out the Saudi Prince as a murder and does something meaningful to redeem a shred of dignity for us as a people.

4) The God Damn News has got to find something to talk about besides Trump.  Anything — show some puppies once in a while for christ’s sake.

3) Just get over it and make pot legal everywhere. Or at least stop enforcing any of these bullshit drug laws.

2) No talking about the 2020 election until it’s 2020.  We don’t want to hear anyone’s election bullshit for two full fucking years.

1) Finish the Mueller Report and any other investigations of Trump. Let’s get out the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  No matter what it says, one-third of the country will never believe it — fuck them.  The truth will win if we give it a chance.


I’m sure there’s a shit-ton of more important things that should and hopefully will happen this coming year.  But this crap has been going on way too long.

So who’s with me?

I already own a yellow reflective jacket. (long story, but it still fits).  If somebody (anybody) will join me, I’ll try to figure out how those fucking French set cars on fire.

Gilets-Jaunes

I can barely get charcoal briquettes to burn, but if this shit doesn’t change, I’ll be the one behind the bar with a whiskey in one hand and learning how to mix Molotov Cocktails with the other.

Ohh… And Happy Fucking New Year. Let’s make it a good one.

2 thoughts on “Five Things That Better Fucking Happen in 2019

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