Comedy Collection

I might have to break a couple of semi-famous thumbs.

Lewis Black and his Rant is Due campaign first gave life to this Bullshit site.  You may genuflect or curse him now…

We were sitting on the beach as Pussy Joe continued to recruit me into the LJBTC community, and introduced me to his “writer” friend.

I’m not naming the writer, because he’s a pro. Buy his books to find out who he is. You won’t regret it (like you should be regretting reading this shameful site.)

“His stuff was read by Lewis Black,” Joe said, referring to Kieran Bullshit.

“Ohh, I know Lewis, and his friend  John Bowman,” the writer said.  “Bowman owes me money.”

JB_LB
John Bowman, left, and his angry little friend, Lewis Black.

Bowman is frequently the opening act for Lewis Black. Apparently, there was a rent payment that the writer had to cover so Bowman could remain indoors.

“Next time you see him, say hello for me,” the writer said.

I had to explain what I meant by “I saw” Lewis Black and John Bowman.  I bought a ticket and saw them in a theater with 5000 other people.  I saw them; they did not see me.

My Vision

But now what do I see? Dollar signs.

The writer can afford the LJBTC community full time. Lewis Black and John Bowman seem to be doing pretty well themselves.  I know I have funneled them more than $1,000 in ticket and merchandise purchases over the past 3 years…

But that rent payment… The juice has been running on that loan for 30 years. Let’s say it was $500.

This is an unsecured personal loan to a comedian — what’s a fair interest rate on that — I’d say 75 percent — especially since it has never been paid back.

That’s a $10k payback.

“Hey,” I told the writer.  “I will collect that debt for half…”

No response.

I’m taking that as a definite yes.  Next time I “see” Mr. Bowman and Mr. Black, I may be breaking a few thumbs.  They are both in their 70’s.  Pretty sure I could snap both of them like a chicken.

Why does “no response” mean “yes”?

The writer explained that his “words” have different meanings:

“In the theater politeness is at a premium.  For example, if one found out that a certain someone had been cast in the same play as you, you might say oh gosh what a DELIGHT it will be to work with you. What you are thinking is oh f****** are you kidding?  not in a million years!  Sh#t!  four weeks of rehearsal with a talentless a****** like you? I wonder if it’s too late to quit.”

Hence, “no response,” means “any means necessary.”

With $5 grand, I could afford to join the LJBTC community for a full 10 days.

2 thoughts on “Comedy Collection

  1. You seem to be showing your age, yourself. You’re going for the thumbs, rather than the kneecaps. But I’m willing to help you hold down their feeble wrists, while you do the snapping. For $2.5K, of course.

    Liked by 1 person

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