Fucking Parking Lot

I was just two windows away from my second possible menage-a-trois, and I’m so old, I didn’t even turn around to look.

This would not have been a simple menage-a-trois, there was a whole gang of my co-workers looking out those windows.  I have no idea what the French call 20 people watching two people have sex… maybe Cinematic Voyeurism?  In English, it’s PornHub Live!

They were staring at the couple that would roll up on random afternoons to park under the shade in their pickup trucks.  The couple would jump into one pickup and within a few seconds, don’t go a knockin’; that truck was a rockin’.

You learn a lot about your co-workers when there are two people fucking about 20 feet outside the window. To put it mildly, it kills productivity.

jim-looking out the window

I’ve been down this road before.  All you are going to be able to see are asses and elbows.  But the newbies have apparently never lived or worked in a public place where people like to have sex… they were fascinated.

They fall into 3 groups:

  • Some gawk and stare out the window — maybe hoping to remember what sex is like?
  • Some are disgusted and stare while shaking their heads at the “sin.”
  • Some think it’s funny and can’t stop talking shit. “Well, that didn’t take long…”

There’s always a few buzzkills that want to “do something” about it:

  • “We should all go out there and tell them to go away.”
  • “We should call the police.”
  • “We should get their phone numbers…”

Finally, one of the managers went out with her phone and started taking pictures of license plates.  Others cowered in the corner worried that the couple would stop fucking and come out firing their semi-automatic weapons.

“These people are crazy, you don’t know what they are going to do,” one of the admin’s said.

What they did was run at the sight of a cell phone camera and never come back.

No one seems very happy that the entertainment is gone.  A few still look out with a wistful glance hoping two trucks will pull in for one last chance at romance.

But alas, we may never, ever again get to call that space “Our Fucking Parking Lot”.

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