Donald Trump misses me

Hey happy day, I made the “special donor” list for the MAGA campaign.

Of course I did. I’m a white, baby boomer, male living in the reddest republican district in the reddish-purple state of Arizona.

trump sign- morans
Image stolen from here.

And look at this personal email, the president was talking about me in his office.

Actual Trump fundraising email

Kieran,

We have important news to share with you.

We just finished a very important meeting in President Trump’s office about online fundraising and he was disappointed to see that your name was MISSING from our November Deadline Donor List.

We thought it was a mistake, but take a look at your donor file:

Can you believe it?  The president knows my name.  I bet he pronounced it correctly too.

OFFICIAL DONOR RECORD

SUPPORTER: Kieran Bullshit
ACCOUNT NUMBER: ######## – 2019
END OF MONTH CONTRIBUTION AMOUNT: $0
DEADLINE: November 30th at 11:59 PM

There’s only a few days left to contribute to our November End-of-Month goal, and President Trump is counting on his BEST supporters, like YOU, to step up.

This deadline is too important to sit on the sidelines, so the President has activated a special TRIPLE-MATCH on all donations made before 11:59 PM TONIGHT to help us CRUSH our $2,000,000 goal.

A triple match — that’s a lot.  It’s like 2 or 3 times right?

Please contribute ANY AMOUNT by 11:59 PM TONIGHT to help President Trump CRUSH the Democrats and your contribution will be TRIPLE-MATCHED. >>

November End-Of-Month Deadline

DEADLINE: 11:59 PM TONIGHT
TRIPLE MATCH: NOT USED

CONTRIBUTE $5 = $20

CONTRIBUTE $20 = $80

CONTRIBUTE $15 = $60

CONTRIBUTE $10 = $40

CONTRIBUTE $5 = $20

Yeah Bitches…  I don’t want to give my money to make anything better.  I just want to “crush” those fucking Democrats.

And look how big triple is.  $5 = $20,  and $10 = $40.


Bad Signs

Seriously, this is depressing on so many levels.  But I’m just going to focus on two.

First.  They assume all of their donors are so fucking dumb, they would believe that Trump actually discusses their personal donation by name…  This is personality-cult-level propoganda handed down from kings and communists. Stalin and Mao would be proud.

Second. I’m going to assume the Trump campaign and Republicans know how to multiple by 3.  Yes “assume” can always make an ass out of u and me, but it feels like a safe bet on this one.

So why say “Triple” and then multiple by 4?  Because they believe anyone who donates to Trump is too fucking stupid to understand the word “Quadruple” and can’t multiple by 3 in their own heads…

A paraphrased quote from one of my heroes, H.L. Mencken, comes to mind:

“No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.”

I’m sure someone could find a fundraising letter from a group on the left that’s just as asinine…  But god damn this is a bad sign for America.

We should all hang our heads in shame that this kind of shit works…  And works it does.  Trump campaign collected $125 million in the third quarter of 2019.

4 thoughts on “Donald Trump misses me

  1. Perhaps Triple-Match means that if you donate $5, the Prez will throw in three times that amount, or $15. So the total donation comes to $20. Thus, $5=$20. I hope that helps you feel better.
    I wouldn’t donate anything to anyone’s campaign, right, left, or middle. I don’t even check that box on the tax return. I don’t like watching all those political ads, and it seems outrageous to me how much gets spent to elect our officials these days.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.