Bullshit Blogging

My first hater

Chacha,” an anonymous and apparently literary genius of the internet, gave this bullshit it’s first “real” bad review.

“…predictable, brainless and actually brings nothing to the table. That’s no bullshit, and certainly no humor.

Chacha, the great

By bad review, I mean Chacha didn’t like my bullshit — not that its* opinion was wrong. Actually, that’s a good observation.

I do quibble with the “That’s no bullshit…” sentence. Predictable, brainless and worthless is an excellent definition of bullshit.

If I had to document the goals and definitions for writing all this crap, words and phrases like “predictable, brainless and bringing nothing to the table” would have made the list. That’s kind of the point of a “bullshit blog.”

In fact, I’m thinking of changing my tagline from:

Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven

Kieran’s Bullshit Humor

To:

“Predictable, brainless and brings nothing to the table.”

At least if “Chacha” had clicked on that line from The Bloggess website, Chacha would have nothing to bitch about. What’s the hater comment gonna be: “your tagline is concise and accurate.”

As for the “certainly no humor” ending. Respect.

Humor is in the belly of the beholder. You either think it’s funny or it’s not.

Sometimes I think my bullshit is funny, most of the time I don’t. Often it’s just fucking depressing. But I don’t know what other category to put these thoughts in. Most things suck. We need to try to laugh or we spend our lives weeping and coiled up in a corner. I prefer sitting, with a drink in my hand — so “humor” it is. You, gentle reader, can call it what you want.

Celebrities, stars and the popular often complain about the haters. I confess, I’ve been a little bit jealous.

For 3 years, I’ve put a lot of angry, nasty and arrogant thoughts out into the world. I’ve insulted just about everyone I know with obscene or fake names and describing their imagined dirty deeds with more than a little hyperbole.

Readers have responded with kindness, thanks and good cheer. Except Geno and Gibson, but everyone knows those two are the bookends on the shelf labeled “fucking idiots.”

I felt like a failure. I spew out a 1000-words a week, and all the haters just passed me by like I’m a homeless man with a sign that’s too small to read.

I’m sure they read a few of my bullshit lines and bounced… I couldn’t even make anyone mad enough to type back one angry sentence. What a loser.

Then Chacha dances to the rescue with two little sentences of criticism. Too bad Chacha didn’t leave a link. No blog, no website, no email for me to write back.

I just want to tell Chacha, I finally made it. After 3 long years of trying, I finally arrived.

Because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and gosh darn it, one person took the time to be my first hater…

  • I say “its” because I don’t know the gender of Chacha. Growing up “Kieran” makes me hesitate to guess. I fucking refuse to use “they” — this is only one hater and I don’t want to get my hopes up that there will be more.

17 replies »

    • Well, for one thing, as I said, I’ve been at it much longer. So far as comparing who is the biggest asshole, I will humbly concede that point. I would put a smiley here, but I can’t figure out how, so here’s this: 🙂

      Like

  1. Gomer Pyle, you can’t claim to have your first hater and then turn around and say goat fucking Geno and I have no thanks, kindness or good cheer regarding your blogs. That is a contradiction and even a first year college student would fail a basic course in logic with this reasoning. I also object to the no good cheer accusation. I have lots of good cheer when you talk about crustaceans, guys on your pussy list, “hippy” Wayne (Master Yoda), or Ravi uno. I’ll end with a quote from Ravi Zacharias, “Even in India we look both ways before crossing the street. It’s either the bus or me, not both of us.” Either goat fucking Geno and I make the list or Chacha is your first hater.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Chacha wins first hater. You two are just disagreeable idiots. Not haters. I can make my own categories with shades of gray. The whole world doesn’t have to be back and white Boolean choices.

      Like

  2. Even worse than the hater is the” ignorer” – the one you to whom you might as well not exist. Do our words exist if nobody reads them? I never gave a shit when people gave me money to write them. I would also suggest that writing your “bullshit” is a way of hiding intellect and heart behind humor. But what do I know. sm

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Talking shit is love not hate. Just throwing out an insult and running away is the way of the troll named Chacha… You have been hanging around for the longest time. Remember back in 2017 when we were young and had ambition to write? Before 2020 aged us a decade into these homebound people who hardly ever post.

    Like

  4. Don’t know about assholes and haters and all that, though there was this Republican bike rider who kept bragging about his bike riding, being thinner, and accusing me of being liberal (ooh, you so got me! I’m guilty as charged and proud of it, you mother fucking, knuckle dragging, mouth breather!). But this comes to mind, and certainly I’m a big idiot in a variety of ways, biking, blogging, etc. For example how many months until I found out that I actually can like your blog if I click through to it?

    JERRY: ‘Cause I’m an idiot! You may think you’re an idiot, but with all due respect – I’m a much bigger idiot than you are.

    GEORGE: Don’t insult me, my friend. Remember who you’re talking to. No one’s a bigger idiot than me…. For I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots!

    I say if you have a hater that’s better than an idiot. It’s like a stalker, and yes, you should be happy, because at least someone’s paying attention. You also have a wife, Kieran, so unless she’s only a hater and not a lover at least some of the time, I guess you’re doing something right.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply to Kangaroo face Gibson Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.