“You know for someone who moves like you, pickleball is a good option,” they say. The pickleball “court” is one-quarter size. Its paddles are half the size of a racquet, but the “wiffle” balls are bigger than a tennis ball. It has “kids game” or retirement home written all over it.
Long ago I gave up singles for tennis. It was too much running to cover a space half the size of a basketball court by myself. I can cover about 30 percent of a court. My partner covers the other 70 — hence the micro aggressions.
After years of resisting the “pickle,” I played the paddle game once, 4 months ago, when Sugar Mama thought we could do something “together.” She’s the only one who can get me to go again.
|Famous Players/Awesome Athletes||Federer, Nadal, Djokovic, Serena Williams, Pete Sampras, Bilie Jean King, Martina, Rod Laver, Don Budge…||none|
|International Championships/Tours||Wimbledon, French Open, US Open, Australian Open, ATP Tour, WTA tour…||none|
|Corporate Sponsors||BNP Paribas, Chase Bank, Emirates Airlines, Rolex…||Superior Labs (supplements for aches and pains)|
|Clothing Lines/Shoes||Nike, Reebok, Adidas, LaCoste…||Penguin by Munsingwear|
|Level of exercise||aerobic/endurance||less than walking a medium-sized dog|
|Level of expertise/training||high||less than corn hole|
|Items usually found near the court||golf courses, luxury homes, public parks||Mobile homes, dumpsters|
|Sounds of the game||Solid contact like a baseball homer; Athletic grunts or inspirational shouts of “Vamos;” Roar of huge crowd.||Awful “thwacks” like someone is hitting a Hyundai with a plastic hammer; Mumbling of pain or shouts of “what’s the score?”; Inane babble coming from the next court.|
If that’s not enough… Here’s 10-minutes of some people playing tennis:
Compared to “the best” playing Pickleball…
Now you tell me — Tennis or Pickleball?
Categories: Tennis teams -- Pendejos