My new favorite joke
It took almost 20 years, but I have a new favorite joke.
My old favorite still makes me laugh, but not nearly as hard as it used to (be — a common condition at my age).
The Biggest Little-Known Crime Against Humanity
One of the biggest crimes happened almost as soon as Christianity started.
Before they even got a smidgeon of power, early Christians were already burning books and libraries.
Religion and Abortion
Let’s start this rant on a topic no one wants to discuss: Abortion and fucking religion. (This is why I only get invited to Savage dinner parties — nobody wants to listen to this bullshit).
Specifically, I’m talking about the Christian fucking religion.
Aywaska U — Updated
Please stop trying to expand my mind. Maybe it’s just me, but every where I turn people are talking about psychedelics like I’m doing something wrong because I haven’t tripped balls with a Peruvian Guru.
Shaman, sorry, Peruvian fucking shaman.
Weirdest 3-way Ever
We were at the Bear’s second cousin’s wedding in New Mexico when it happened. I drank too much, and said something I thought was funny…
Cussing Makes Me Better Than You
There’s more and more research to show that cussing makes you:
Smarter
Stronger
More Honest
Tolerate More Pain
A Better Communicator
Reduce your level of Stress
You know, just a better fucking person than all those stuck up assholes who act all butt hurt when you tell them their religion is bullshit.
Step 8
You know what is missing from the Bible? Apologies.
According to the google the only thing the fictional god of the bible ever apologized for: creating man.
Tax Thee, Not Me
No one wants to pay taxes, not businesses, not people… but I say we start with those buildings with a steeple.
That’s right, tax the god damn churches.
Bible Quote or Mein Kampf?
Let’s play a game: (The sensitive and the religious may want to sit this one out).
Is it a quote from the Bible of Mein Kampf? Yeah that Mein Kampf — Hitler’s evil receipe for the world. I’m not praising that shit. I’m just showing the worst example I could think of to compare to what some think is the “good book.”
Submit
It was my niece’s wedding, and Shannon is not submitting to nobody, nowhere. She came out of the womb screaming like a banshee, and that screaming for shit didn’t stop until she learned how to talk.
Fucking Churches and Kids
Don’t even try to tell me about any “good” that religion has done. All the hospitals, food pantries, or “personal peace” they can provide, doesn’t make up
Fuck St. Patrick and the snakes he rode in on
I’m so fucking Irish I don’t have to wear green or get drunk on St. Patrick’s Day. It’s a Bullshit holiday — they don’t really celebrate it in Ireland
Unintelligent Design
“Intelligent Design” is such a steaming pile of horse shit — every time some dumbass says it, part of my subconscious wants to hit them in the head with a shov
Christmas Shopping for Jesus
We’ve reach god’s busy season, and he’s gonna be grumpy again this year. You know jesus is just about impossible to shop for, and after more than 2000 birthdays
Confederate Christians
It was in one of my first classes at ASU. American History 101. The professor was probably 25 years old. She wore business suits every day. If she was more than 5-feet tall, I’m a dinosaur.
She was smart and she knew her shit, and I liked her. But I don’t think she liked me. I sat in the back, and mumbled very deep thoughts like: “that’s fucking bullshit.”
