I've spent thousands on a good bike. Hundreds on shoes and clothes. I spent $1.29 on a snickers bar that fucked up a perfectly good ride.
Fat Biker: fear the fart
Category: Fat Biker
It ain’t easy to be fat in the wheeled-world of the skinny fucks.
Last Dance for Lance
Covid-19 has forced us to replace sports with documentaries about sports. Kills time, but fucks up the betting. ESPN played "The Last Dance", Michael Jordan's ode to himself, and 30 for 30's series on Lance Armstrong practically back-to-back.
Fat Biker: Numb Nards
Covid-19 Quarantine has sent many of us scurrying back to our bicycles. Some for the first time since childhood. I see them on the bike paths, wearing a T-shirt and jeans shorts with no pads, gears squeaking from the spider webs they didn't bother to wipe, and weaving all over the road like drunks.
Fat Biker: Horse’s Ass
Put tires on my road bike that are 3 millimeters wider (25 to 28 mm), so I could ride on a little dirt. What did I get? A berating from two "expert" trail users.
Fat Biker: Passing M&M’s
I don't want to admit how many tens-of-thousands of dollars I have spent on road bikes in the past decade. But in this pandemic, worth every fucking penny.
Fat Biker: E-Bikes
I was struggling to get up Las Sendas when these four 70-something, fat ass, snowbirds from Michigan floated past me like they were riding on a cloud.
Fat Biker: Rim jobs
Fat Bikers are hell on wheels.
Fat Biker: Narrow Paths
For years I wished the town of Gilbert would pave the canal path from Guadalupe to Warner Road. Sometimes it's better for wishes not to come true.
Fat Biker: Murderous Drivers
Just because you are wrapped in two tons of steel and plastic doesn’t mean you get to run over anything that slightly annoys you — especially a fat biker just out for a ride.
Fat Biker: Counting Coup
It's an instinct that probably goes back to our days chasing mammoths over a cliff. Cyclists see another rider ahead and do everything they can to pass that bastard.
