Fat Biker: Here’s Sweat in Your Eye

July 18, 2019July 17, 2019 ~ Kieran ~ 9 Comments

Ohh God it burns, when these little balls of salty sweat roll or drop right into the corner of your eyes. It doesn't happen every ride. Sometimes it happens when it hot, sometimes when it's not.

Fat Biker: Mountain Climber – Vegas Style

April 30, 2019May 13, 2019 ~ Kieran ~ 4 Comments

I once went cycling up a giant mountain with a drug lord from South America. Sure, sure Angry Ed denies he is, or has ever been, a drug lord. But if ever there was a witness protection name for a cartel double agent, it's "Ed Vegas."

Fat Biker: Animal Control

April 9, 2019April 9, 2019 ~ Kieran ~ 6 Comments

Being a fat biker (pedaling not Harley) with no pigment leaves me little choice. I have to ride at night or risk Satan's kisses (sunburn all over). I'm a night person anyway. I put on two motorcycle power headlights, a flashing red tail light and head out once the sun turned off.

Fat Biker: Wheel Suckers

February 26, 2019February 25, 2019 ~ Kieran ~ 4 Comments

Most cyclists are your basic MAMIL's (middle-aged men in lycra) -- you know harmless, masochistic skinny fucks who enjoy burning muscle pain and oxygen deprivation. But occasionally out of a pack of MAMIL's, one douchebag will pop up like burnt toast. There's a few different types of douches, but the worst is the wheel-sucker.

Fat Biker: Clueless Riders

November 15, 2018November 24, 2018 ~ Kieran ~ 5 Comments

My clueless riders, didn't ask and didn't know those things. They just assumed that everyone thinks it's OK to endanger and maybe kill other people who don't look like or sound like you.