I have never trusted birds -- useless fucking things that just mock us with their ability to swoop down on our heads. But years ago something happened that changed my mind.
Phoenix, Arizona, where mighty rivers go to die. Phoenix is a giant sandy sponge that soaks up all the fresh water from 5 states. The Salt and Verde rivers bring water from northern Arizona and New Mexico and run dry 30 miles short of Phoenix. The underground aquifers of the Santa Cruz, Gila, Agua Fria and New rivers drift into the Valley of the Sun.
It only took 6 years to beat the Nazis. The Odyessey was done in 10. Wimps. It took me 50 years to finally win "the grass wars."
You retire to Phoenix from some frozen popsicle like Chicago or Minneapolis or the non-existent god forbid, Canada. So when the days get long, you get the hell out and go home.
The Bear teaches 6th grade in a poor neighborhood. Every once in a while when the Phoenix Suns really suck, they pad the house by giving away tickets
I'm not sure when Gilbert, Az started letting roosters live in my neighborhood, but last year some fucking little Foghorn Leghorn moved in almost next door.
Who turns on the stupid switch when people are walking through parking lots? They fucking wander like lemmings across the lane where the goddamn cars go.
Every time I see some screaming idiot raving about the climate change "conspiracy", why the fuck is it always a whiter than white dude...
10 - You are on busy corner, and on both sides of the road there are PayDay loan stores.
There is a town in Arizona founded on shit and piss. And if you can't stand the people who put the orange Putin puppet in power, you should go there on July 1.