I'm not sure if it's allergies or the fucking flu, but the last two weeks I pulled a Kafka -- a metamorphasis from human being to a 240-pound snot factory.
I feel about dogs the way most people feel about children -- I love mine; I don't give a flying fuck about yours. Until recently, dogs were a part of my life. But after the last dog died, the Boy went to college and I moved to Tucson. So the Bear and I only spend … Continue reading Savage Dogs
Tennis players are a bunch of cheap bastards, and for 40 years, I fit right in. But then I made the mistake of taking the Bear to Indian Wells.
If you love all things synchronized -- swimming, rhythm gymnastics, doubles diving... Imagine how wonderful North Korea must be. You should go.
In July, I experimented with being LJBTC. This was my first time, and I have to admit -- I liked it. I might do it again next year
Remember when Spring Break was fun? Mexico, Daytona Beach..
The Lying Nazi Bullshit Diesel is really fucking picky about which diesel you put in it. I once stopped at a corner station in Tucson and 3 hours later the Lying Nazi came to a coughing halt. The dealer said it had "dirty diesel" -- like it's fucking AC/DC (dirty diesel done dirt cheap). Apparently … Continue reading Gas Station TV
Look down when you are leaving the bar at the 3rd world racquet club -- one of these steps is not like the others. It's blonde and has a slightly different pattern
There are only two guys in the world I'm jealous of -- both of them are fucking geniuses. They don't have to work because their wives make a ton of money. As far as I know they sit around in their underwear till noon, go work out for an hour and spend the rest of … Continue reading Unequal Pay
One of the family secrets that I did not know until recently is "the nickname". My mother used to call us: "The Shit Show."