Becoming a Skinny Fuck in San Francisco

April 25, 2019April 24, 2019 ~ Kieran ~ 1 Comment

It sucks being the only fat man in San Francisco. I was there for work last week squeezed into a conference hotel with a 1000 skinny fucks. A bunch of vegans and vegetarians with food allergies surrounded me. Even in the few moments when I escaped the hotel, the streets were packed, the restaurants and bars had these tiny chairs and tables stacked on each other like legos.

Headbutt

April 11, 2019April 10, 2019 ~ Kieran ~ 7 Comments

As a parent, there are a few moments when you don't know whether to be pissed or to be proud. Listen to this bullshit, and tell me which I should have been.

Iris LaBonga

March 26, 2019March 25, 2019 ~ Kieran ~ 5 Comments

I have never trusted birds -- useless fucking things that just mock us with their ability to swoop down on our heads. But years ago something happened that changed my mind.

That was My God Damn Cookie

February 21, 2019February 21, 2019 ~ Kieran ~ 2 Comments

Saturday morning there were 3 cookies left -- the Savage chocolate chip cookies with just the right amount of crack. "Those are for you and your brother," the Bear said. "You figure out how to share them."

Killing me with Coffee

January 27, 2019February 21, 2019 ~ Kieran ~ Leave a comment

Something different. This crazy lady I met on the internet asked if I would write something for her blog. Unlike all the other lifestyle and recipe blogs, she rants and swears with the best of them. Unlike my bullshit, there's a lot more to her stuff than just anger and insults. So, I could only hope to put some bullshit together that would fit on her page. And sadly this is the best I could do. You can read it on her page: http://ccorral.blogspot.com/2019/01/killing-me-with-coffee.html

My final attempt at Christmas shopping

December 20, 2018December 20, 2018 ~ Kieran ~ 5 Comments

I've been in "husband" boot camp for 32 years. There's no graduation in sight.

Fat Biker: Clueless Riders

November 15, 2018November 24, 2018 ~ Kieran ~ 5 Comments

My clueless riders, didn't ask and didn't know those things. They just assumed that everyone thinks it's OK to endanger and maybe kill other people who don't look like or sound like you.

Tamales Taste Much Better — Now

November 8, 2018November 8, 2018 ~ Kieran ~ 4 Comments

My first tamale was "the Charles Barkley" of tamales, "terrible, just terrible."

Savage Boil

October 2, 2018February 21, 2019 ~ Kieran ~ Leave a comment

I thought it was “hot” outside when we had "Thanks-grilling", until the Bear decided we should do a Savage Shrimp Boil in early September.

Susan B. Anthony got Spade

September 4, 2018November 8, 2018 ~ Kieran

The fucking Savages started this trend of mini-dogs. The Boy followed and several months ago picked up a 13-pound rat that exhibits dog-like behavior.