“I’m dying,” the wife said in a way we all knew she was not.
Hi, my name is Kieran, and I am a pathetic, hopeless alcoholic — at least according to the wife I am.
The Boy made one little change on Facebook, and it sent the Savages into a tizzy.
Most of my neighbors are so fucked up I can barely look them in the eye, but the Bear and the boy keep dragging me into conversations with them.
About 30 Savages invaded the Bear’s home on Thursday — yes it was Thanksgiving. We had shish-kaboobs outside in 90-degree heat at 1 p.m
Remember when Obama said Hilary was “Likeable enough?” Well, she wasn’t, and neither am I.
Opened the fridge door — damn that smelled like shit. I knew exactly what to blame. That 18-inch long bag of celery.
In the battle of the Bullshit blog nicknames, I was confident I had picked a winner. Surprise, I fucked that up.
Turns out the woman who I have referred to as “The Bear” on the internet for the past three years is not an animal at all.
She’s my Sugar Mama… showering me with all of that sweet, sweet teacher money.
While other people ignore the warnings and pack the airports, there will be no big Savage family Thanksgiving. Can’t have 20-plus people gather in 2020.
Recently, I’ve been diagnosed with a chronic and progressive disease. No worries, it’s not fatal — as long as I “treat it” correctly.
We fled the summer hell in Arizona for heaven — San Diego.
Original plan was to spend more time in the LJBTC community. No Dogs allowed. But that got cancelled. We found a pet-friendly vacation rental in Del Mar, and that’s how Carol Baskins got to rent her time with the 1 percent. She lived up to her name, sort of.
Some men show love and affection through jewelry and flowers. Some men buy houses and cars.
I showed my love through eating.
For the first time in 35 years together, the Bear and I are doing a little bit of hoarding.
I know what you are thinking, and fuck you. It’s just a little bit of hoarding, and it’s not for us.
I don’t need no IQ test to tell how stupid people think I am. I just need the Bear to leave for a few days.