The Bear is gone; Sugar Mama is here to stay
Turns out the woman who I have referred to as “The Bear” on the internet for the past three years is not an animal at all.
She’s my Sugar Mama… showering me with all of that sweet, sweet teacher money.
No Thanks — Savages
While other people ignore the warnings and pack the airports, there will be no big Savage family Thanksgiving. Can’t have 20-plus people gather in 2020.
Manis PigPenus
Recently, I’ve been diagnosed with a chronic and progressive disease. No worries, it’s not fatal — as long as I “treat it” correctly.
Carol Baskins and the 1 percent
We fled the summer hell in Arizona for heaven — San Diego.
Original plan was to spend more time in the LJBTC community. No Dogs allowed. But that got cancelled. We found a pet-friendly vacation rental in Del Mar, and that’s how Carol Baskins got to rent her time with the 1 percent. She lived up to her name, sort of.
Greek Salad
Some men show love and affection through jewelry and flowers. Some men buy houses and cars.
I showed my love through eating.
Fake ID for TP
For the first time in 35 years together, the Bear and I are doing a little bit of hoarding.
I know what you are thinking, and fuck you. It’s just a little bit of hoarding, and it’s not for us.
Intelligence Test
I don’t need no IQ test to tell how stupid people think I am. I just need the Bear to leave for a few days.
COW Surprise
There are hours (never full days) when I miss being a teacher. Then the Bear tells me “how her day went” and I remember: ohh that shit sucks.
That’s Mr. Savage to you
I just recently found out that in 1987 I made the biggest mistake of my life. I got married.
Ceiling Stroke
Did I tell you the Bear had a stroke?
Don’t worry it was long ago, and there are no obvious lasting effects other than (once in a while) she won’t shut up about it.
Homeless in San Diego
Last year the Bear and I went to see Lewis Black in San Diego — we won’t be going back.
It’s not the cost of tickets, or the airfare, or the hotel. My ass is used to getting screwed by them.
My Love is Bigger than a Subaru
There’s a list of advantages to only spending weekends with the spouse. Surprise visits is not one of them.
Christening the Bowl
The Bear came down from Gilbert, and she was looking for a bowl to steal.
Forgotten Dad Lessons
We often forget the impact we have on others. Here’s a little reminder that came from The Boy (now age 29) through Facebook Messenger of what a shitty dad I am.
The White Tiger
I learned something deep and dark about myself. If two of my friends ever go to hunt down the last white tiger on earth, the Bear and I would tag along, not say a fucking word, and laugh at all the wrong times.
Sounds awful I know.
