Category: Savages

My in-laws are a bunch of disgusting Savages. See if you agree.

The Bear is gone; Sugar Mama is here to stay

By Kieran on January 14, 2021 • ( 11 Comments )

Turns out the woman who I have referred to as “The Bear” on the internet for the past three years is not an animal at all.

She’s my Sugar Mama… showering me with all of that sweet, sweet teacher money.

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No Thanks — Savages

By Kieran on November 26, 2020 • ( 8 Comments )

While other people ignore the warnings and pack the airports, there will be no big Savage family Thanksgiving. Can’t have 20-plus people gather in 2020.

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Manis PigPenus

By Kieran on September 22, 2020 • ( 7 Comments )

Recently, I’ve been diagnosed with a chronic and progressive disease. No worries, it’s not fatal — as long as I “treat it” correctly.

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Carol Baskins and the 1 percent

By Kieran on July 14, 2020 • ( 6 Comments )

We fled the summer hell in Arizona for heaven — San Diego.

Original plan was to spend more time in the LJBTC community. No Dogs allowed. But that got cancelled. We found a pet-friendly vacation rental in Del Mar, and that’s how Carol Baskins got to rent her time with the 1 percent. She lived up to her name, sort of.

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Greek Salad

By Kieran on May 26, 2020 • ( 11 Comments )

Some men show love and affection through jewelry and flowers. Some men buy houses and cars.

I showed my love through eating.

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Fake ID for TP

By Kieran on April 14, 2020 • ( 3 Comments )

For the first time in 35 years together, the Bear and I are doing a little bit of hoarding.

I know what you are thinking, and fuck you. It’s just a little bit of hoarding, and it’s not for us.

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Intelligence Test

By Kieran on March 19, 2020 • ( 12 Comments )

I don’t need no IQ test to tell how stupid people think I am. I just need the Bear to leave for a few days.

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COW Surprise

By Kieran on March 3, 2020 • ( 6 Comments )

There are hours (never full days) when I miss being a teacher. Then the Bear tells me “how her day went” and I remember: ohh that shit sucks.

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That’s Mr. Savage to you

By Kieran on February 11, 2020 • ( 9 Comments )

I just recently found out that in 1987 I made the biggest mistake of my life. I got married.

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Ceiling Stroke

By Kieran on January 21, 2020 • ( 7 Comments )

Did I tell you the Bear had a stroke?

Don’t worry it was long ago, and there are no obvious lasting effects other than (once in a while) she won’t shut up about it.

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Homeless in San Diego

By Kieran on November 9, 2019 • ( 4 Comments )

Last year the Bear and I went to see Lewis Black in San Diego — we won’t be going back.

It’s not the cost of tickets, or the airfare, or the hotel. My ass is used to getting screwed by them.

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My Love is Bigger than a Subaru

By Kieran on September 19, 2019 • ( 9 Comments )

There’s a list of advantages to only spending weekends with the spouse. Surprise visits is not one of them.

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Christening the Bowl

By Kieran on July 30, 2019 • ( 15 Comments )

The Bear came down from Gilbert, and she was looking for a bowl to steal.

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Forgotten Dad Lessons

By Kieran on July 25, 2019 • ( 13 Comments )

We often forget the impact we have on others. Here’s a little reminder that came from The Boy (now age 29) through Facebook Messenger of what a shitty dad I am.

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The White Tiger

By Kieran on June 25, 2019 • ( 15 Comments )

I learned something deep and dark about myself. If two of my friends ever go to hunt down the last white tiger on earth, the Bear and I would tag along, not say a fucking word, and laugh at all the wrong times.

Sounds awful I know.