Category: Sex and Gender

Here’s something I know next to nothing about. But it keeps coming up.

Haircut tips

By Kieran on August 24, 2021 • ( 19 Comments )

Don’t call it fucking “hair styling” or going to a “stylist” — pushing 60, I’m back to sporting the same haircut I had when I was 6.

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Whose dream is it anyway

By Kieran on June 16, 2021 • ( Leave a comment )

I’ve been married so long, I’m starting to dream that I’m cheating on her… I’m not fucking kidding. Woke up in a hot sweat, half covered with a down blanket and fully wrapped in guilt.

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Porn in their pockets

By Kieran on May 28, 2020 • ( 9 Comments )

Old people often look back on their youth as a simpler time. That’s bullshit. Life was complicated as soon as we dropped out of the trees and walked across the savannah on our hind legs.

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Civilized Men

By Kieran on December 17, 2019 • ( 8 Comments )

Civilization is created by women. Without them, it’s Lord of the Flies with more testosterone and back hair.

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Lewis Black Harassment

By Kieran on December 3, 2019 • ( Leave a comment )

Lewis Black hates tennis. But he closed his show in Austin, Texas on Friday, Nov. 22 with a little tale about the John Newcombe Tennis Ranch. (video)

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Your little…

By Kieran on November 5, 2019 • ( 21 Comments )

Recently I noticed a small thing about the Bear that has been driving me a bit crazy.

Whenever she refers to any thing about me or the things I like, she always adds this one adjective.

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Drop that Swiffer

By Kieran on October 29, 2019 • ( 8 Comments )

Some old white guys hate taxes and never want to fund government research. Some old white guys are fucking idiots.

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My Love is Bigger than a Subaru

By Kieran on September 19, 2019 • ( 10 Comments )

There’s a list of advantages to only spending weekends with the spouse. Surprise visits is not one of them.

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My Dad’s Girlfriend(s)

By Kieran on August 29, 2019 • ( 17 Comments )

My father is 88 years old. His biggest problem in the world is keeping his hometown girlfriend from meeting his traveling girlfriend.

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I Can Finally Tell My Truth

By Kieran on August 27, 2019 • ( 11 Comments )

It’s taken me months to fully admit it… But I can now say I was sexually harassed on a boat in Alaska.

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Fucking Parking Lot

By Kieran on August 8, 2019 • ( 5 Comments )

I was just two windows away from my second possible menage-a-trois, and I’m so old, I didn’t even turn around to look.

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The Patriarchy Made Me Crush a Woman

By Kieran on June 18, 2019 • ( 3 Comments )

I’ve got no evidence to prove it, but I’m convinced I almost crushed a woman just to support the patriarchy.

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Hooray for Hooters

By Kieran on June 4, 2019 • ( 3 Comments )

It had been a long day and a half in a crowded room listening to stories about work while not getting any work done. I couldn’t wait to head over to Hooters.

It had been built in our imaginations like a combination of Camelot and Plato’s Retreat. It was the first Hooters in the state — newly opened in downtown Phoenix.

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Weirdest 3-way Ever

By Kieran on May 14, 2019 • ( 5 Comments )

We were at the Bear’s second cousin’s wedding in New Mexico when it happened. I drank too much, and said something I thought was funny…

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Menage a What The Fuck?

By Kieran on March 28, 2019 • ( 7 Comments )

I only have one “sex” story that I used to share in public.

I was 16 years old and working at the ghetto grocery store that was a few blocks from my parents’ house. One winter night around 9 p.m. I was rounding up the last of the shopping carts in the parking lot.

This tiny little rusted out piece-of-shit sedan was a rockin’.