Old people often look back on their youth as a simpler time. That's bullshit. Life was complicated as soon as we dropped out of the trees and walked across the savannah on our hind legs.
Civilization is created by women. Without them, it's Lord of the Flies with more testosterone and back hair.
Lewis Black hates tennis. But he closed his show in Austin, Texas on Friday, Nov. 22 with a little tale about the John Newcombe Tennis Ranch. (video)
Recently I noticed a small thing about the Bear that has been driving me a bit crazy. Whenever she refers to any thing about me or the things I like, she always adds this one adjective.
Some old white guys hate taxes and never want to fund government research. Some old white guys are fucking idiots.
There's a list of advantages to only spending weekends with the spouse. Surprise visits is not one of them.
My father is 88 years old. His biggest problem in the world is keeping his hometown girlfriend from meeting his traveling girlfriend.
It's taken me months to fully admit it... But I can now say I was sexually harassed on a boat in Alaska.
I was just two windows away from my second possible menage-a-trois, and I'm so old, I didn't even turn around to look.
I've got no evidence to prove it, but I'm convinced I almost crushed a woman just to support the patriarchy.