I’m sure you will agree that birthdays are BULLSHIT. You have done nothing to deserve all this. Today, you are just a hairy freeloader forcing a social tax on your friends for food, drinks and gifts. Congratulations — you are now a socialist.
Among the Pendejos we have a split decision on whether Shad should be nominated for a bronze medal in Dick Move of the Year 2021.
After a dozen years of living part time in the Dirty T, right around Christmas, I quit my job — so I’m selling my condo and abandoning the third-world racquet club.
The LJBTC community was invested by two things from Akron, Ohio at the same time. The LJBTC will never be the same.
Jesus wanted our money — but this time it was for a good cause: better brewing from Larry, for fuck’s sake.
It took almost 20 years, but I have a new favorite joke.
My old favorite still makes me laugh, but not nearly as hard as it used to (be — a common condition at my age).
One of the things I like about tennis is the built in “physical distancing.” Even in doubles there’s 4 people in 2808 square feet.
We all think Freud was a fool for “penis envy”. Well, I’ve got a similar theory about the other side of the taint.
Every fiber of my non-existent soul didn’t want to tell this story. It’s wrong on so many levels. Stop here if ye be afraid.
I bumped into the shaming couple in the third world club the other night. They asked one simple question. They didn’t like my answer.
It hadn’t rained in Tucson for 50 days and 50 nights. The first time it did, my fucked up tennis friends “ran away” like they were being chased by a killer rabbit.
My little witness-protection friend may have to change his nickname. His “real” name is Ed Vegas — or so he says, but how many “Venezuelans” have the last name Vegas?
That’s the US Marshal’s office laughing their ass off as they make fake names for each Colombian drug lord they turn.
These goddamn pendejos from Tucson have taken body shaming to a whole fucking new level.
This time we were renting a few days with the 1% in the LJBTC community. Fuck Disneyland, the LJBTC is the happiest place on earth.
I might have to break a couple of semi-famous thumbs.
Believe it or not, I have a friend, who recently became “famous” for quitting. Well, at least “internet famous” (in Tucson only) when he quietly retired.