I learned something deep and dark about myself. If two of my friends ever go to hunt down the last white tiger on earth, the Bear and I would tag along, not say a fucking word, and laugh at all the wrong times. Sounds awful I know.
The White Tiger
Category: Tennis teams
The Best Shot in Tennis History
I fucking knew Josh and Angry Ed would not be able to let that go. I would have bet a month's pay it would be Angry Ed... but it wasn't.
Better Living through Cortisone
After years of physical therapy and anti-inflammatories, followed by months of injections and finally artho knee surgery, I finally found my "miracle". Cortisone.
Menage a What The Fuck?
I only have one "sex" story that I used to share in public. I was 16 years old and working at the ghetto grocery store that was a few blocks from my parents' house. One winter night around 9 p.m. I was rounding up the last of the shopping carts in the parking lot. This tiny little rusted out piece-of-shit sedan was a rockin'.
Living on the Crack
We all have our little addictions. Some good, some not so good. For the past decade, I've been hooked on the crack.
Post-Op Bullshit
The surgeon looked at me with the kind of disgust one saves for making sure the cockroach is dead before you throw it in the trash. "What do you mean it still hurts?" he said. "You had a leaf tear and I smoothed it all out."
Diphthong Denea
One of the fucked-up things about playing recreational tennis is away matches. You have to drive to some other part of town and play on strange courts. And worse, we can't just walk to the Third World bar to enjoy some popcorn and beer with the resident mice -- we are forced to pick a different bar.
Novocaine in the Parking Lot
Waiting for my slot to get my knee surgery, the surgeon was killing time and hung out at my bedside for a while.
That was My God Damn Cookie
Saturday morning there were 3 cookies left -- the Savage chocolate chip cookies with just the right amount of crack. "Those are for you and your brother," the Bear said. "You figure out how to share them."
Cut Me, Doc, Cut Me
I know it probably won't work, but I'm signing up for surgery. I've combined advil and tylenol. I've done the physical therapy, the braces and the weird shots of sugar and bacteria -- or spun out particles of my own blood. Left knee got better. Right knee got worse.
