I don't want to admit how many tens-of-thousands of dollars I have spent on road bikes in the past decade. But in this pandemic, worth every fucking penny.
Fat Biker: Passing M&M’s
Killer Carol
I've had dogs that liked me, but they always "loved" other people. This past few weeks I found a dog that actually loves me. If I'm lucky, for the next 15 years, I won't be able to take a shit by myself.
My new favorite joke
It took almost 20 years, but I have a new favorite joke. My old favorite still makes me laugh, but not nearly as hard as it used to (be -- a common condition at my age).
Fake ID for TP
For the first time in 35 years together, the Bear and I are doing a little bit of hoarding. I know what you are thinking, and fuck you. It's just a little bit of hoarding, and it's not for us.
A Fifth of Hope
Just when I think Americans and their leaders are so fucked-up, the country hardly deserves to survive, we do something as a group I can finally salute.
Spousal Distancing
For not the first time in a decade, the man cave has come in handy.
REFUGE
In this time of sheltering, I was just going to write about my shelter within our shelter, but Stephen did it better. Enjoy.
In my house, my place of escape, refuge, privacy, contemplation and uninterrupted reading is on the toilet. When the going gets tough, the tough get going and I go to the bathroom.
Excuse me, I’ll say! I have to go sit for a while!
How can anyone object?
I keep piles of books, periodicals and extra pairs of reading glasses in the bathroom. Better not to be caught unprepared and have to go back out. I like magazine articles and short stories. Both time out well. Novels are too long and so would increase the risk of hemorrhoids. Poems aren’t nearly long enough and besides, I’d rather not fall asleep with my pants around my ankles.
Cell phones are barred. To make phone calls to other people from the toilet seems oddly disrespectful – unless they’re movie agents – and not having a cell phone allows you to not answer…
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Fat Biker: E-Bikes
I was struggling to get up Las Sendas when these four 70-something, fat ass, snowbirds from Michigan floated past me like they were riding on a cloud.
Laughing during the Pandemic
I'm not one of these nuts that wants to spread the virus or let grandparents die to "save" the economy. All these deaths from Covid-19 are preventable, and we should do everything we can to save each person. But now is a good time for a little perspective.
Zoom Choc-a-laca
With this pandemic, it's morning zoom and night. By that I mean I'm lucky enough to be on non-stop conference calls with Zoom -- the best of the fucked-up softwares that make every virtual meeting feel like it's taking place in a busy bus terminal.
