What Color is Your Dishwasher — Updated
Don’t look. Tell me what color your dishwasher is.
Gold Medal Roommate
We screwed up raising this kid — the Boy likes people and has no sense of shame or social awkwardness.
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Compressing Harassment
I killed way too many brain cells this past weekend with the Tucson Pendejos — again. But between beers (and some new alcoholic shit called the red devil or the red menance) something happened that restored just a little of my faith in humanity. We were all drinking […]
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The State Says I Stink
The Bear has always hated my Lying Nazi Bullshit Diesel. Not because it’s a liar. Not because it’s killing the planet
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Snot Factories – Invest Now
I’m not sure if it’s allergies or the fucking flu, but the last two weeks I pulled a Kafka — a metamorphasis from human being to a 240-pound snot factory.
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Old Man Shit
Most people say puberty brings the biggest body changes of your life. Well, most people are shit heads. Puberty is nothing compared to…
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Savage Dogs
I feel about dogs the way most people feel about children — I love mine; I don’t give a flying fuck about yours. Until recently, dogs were a part of my life. But after the last dog died, the Boy went to college and I moved to Tucson. […]
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Fat Biker Problems – Events
Being the fat guy at the start line in a cycling event is like being the hairy 300-pound dude at the beach in a speedo. I’m in my tight-ass shorts surrounded by all these skinny happy fucks talking about their “race” goals. They are setting up their cadence […]
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Picture Books
Humans are “de-evolving” into their tiny little bird brains.
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Harvey and Irma Expose Fucked Up Politics
We can all agree Harvey and Irma dumped a shit ton of rain from Texas to North Carolina.
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Copyright Storm Troopers -Updated
I got busted by the copyright police on fucking YouTube. The Bear told my brother I was a “writer” for Lewis Black. Of course he didn’t believe her
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FUCK the USTA — Again
It’s the US Open mother fuckers, time to celebrate tennis. But I just had to go to the uspen.org website and fucking ruin it.
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North Korea Tourista
If you love all things synchronized — swimming, rhythm gymnastics, doubles diving… Imagine how wonderful North Korea must be. You should go.
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The LJBTC Community
In July, I experimented with being LJBTC. This was my first time, and I have to admit — I liked it. I might do it again next year
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The Dirty T
I’m not sure what it is about Tucson, but it draws out some weird little freaks, and everyone else is OK with that.
