I went down some fucking rabbit hole on the internet and ended up on this post: The 5 Most Powerful Words in the English Language. I'm calling bullshit on this whole thing.
I've been writing this bullshit for two-and-a-half-years. Jesus, I could have had a master's degree by now. In those 30 months, I've gone from 5 to about 8 readers. Following how my god damn generation raised all these douchebags, when you hit 8 participants, it's time to present the participation trophies.
I finally freed myself of the wicked Wix and moved my bullshit to WordPress.