If I was smart, I would have gone to Las Vegas on Sunday. On Saturday, I hit the fucking Rant is Due lottery -- Lewis Black read another of my little stories.
No means no goddamnit. But not at Apple.
There's a list of advantages to only spending weekends with the spouse. Surprise visits is not one of them.
I went down some fucking rabbit hole on the internet and ended up on this post: The 5 Most Powerful Words in the English Language. I'm calling bullshit on this whole thing.
I've been writing this bullshit for two-and-a-half-years. Jesus, I could have had a master's degree by now. In those 30 months, I've gone from 5 to about 8 readers. Following how my god damn generation raised all these douchebags, when you hit 8 participants, it's time to present the participation trophies.
I was just two windows away from my second possible menage-a-trois, and I'm so old, I didn't even turn around to look.
Believe it or not, I have a friend, who recently became "famous" for quitting. Well, at least "internet famous" (in Tucson only) when he quietly retired.
The Bear came down from Gilbert, and she was looking for a bowl to steal.
My little brother was a hippie. When he was young, he joined the peace corp. 30 years later he is an organic fruit farmer in Washington state...
Who turns on the stupid switch when people are walking through parking lots? They fucking wander like lemmings across the lane where the goddamn cars go.