Fat Biker: The Wire
“I bought this bike, so I could ride it. I don’t want to learn how to fix it.”
Feeding my face
I got a new iPhone with face recognition. Now my Twitter feed is fucking with me.
Intelligence Test
I don’t need no IQ test to tell how stupid people think I am. I just need the Bear to leave for a few days.
Fat Biker: Rim jobs
Fat Bikers are hell on wheels.
Video Page
I finally conceded. Nobody reads anymore, so I created a video page. https://kieranbullshit.com/videos-lewis-black/
Cussing in Context
I don’t trust people who don’t cuss — those fuckers are hiding something.
Grammar is Bullshit — Mostly
I’ve been a journalist and an English teacher, and I can tell you some of what we shove down kids’ throats as “grammar” is bullshit.
Lewis Black Reads the Jeffrey Dahmer Joke
If I was smart, I would have gone to Las Vegas on Sunday. On Saturday, I hit the fucking Rant is Due lottery — Lewis Black read another of my little stories.
Un-consensual Updates
No means no goddamnit. But not at Apple.
My Love is Bigger than a Subaru
There’s a list of advantages to only spending weekends with the spouse. Surprise visits is not one of them.
The 5 most powerful words in English
I went down some fucking rabbit hole on the internet and ended up on this post: The 5 Most Powerful Words in the English Language. I’m calling bullshit on this whole thing.
The Biggest Bullshit Awards
I’ve been writing this bullshit for two-and-a-half-years. Jesus, I could have had a master’s degree by now. In those 30 months, I’ve gone from 5 to about 8 readers. Following how my god damn generation raised all these douchebags, when you hit 8 participants, it’s time to present the participation trophies.
Fucking Parking Lot
I was just two windows away from my second possible menage-a-trois, and I’m so old, I didn’t even turn around to look.
The Legend Retires — Updated
Believe it or not, I have a friend, who recently became “famous” for quitting. Well, at least “internet famous” (in Tucson only) when he quietly retired.
Christening the Bowl
The Bear came down from Gilbert, and she was looking for a bowl to steal.
