If you don't want to eat meat or dairy or anything with eyes, just keep crunching your broccoli and shut your fucking mouth about it.
All the Feelings of a Head of Lettuce
Tag: featured
The Dicks of Palm Springs
I don't have any evidence to prove it, but I swear to your imaginary God the old dicks of Palm Springs are the only thing keeping the economy surging
Wingman T-ball
Jesus was sitting on the other side of the table starring at the waitresses' tits. She walks away and he leers at the rest of us letting us know his intent
White Men will be Fine
On some random Facebook post, somebody I don't know posted something like: "the era of white men is over". It stuck in my head as the dumbest fucking thing I've read in a while. It's complete bullshit. They said the same kind of shit when the Americans won the revolution, slavery ended, women got the … Continue reading White Men will be Fine
You are just a Fucking Pussy
The rules for what makes a man are changing, but that doesn't give any of you a license to become a complete pussy.
Joe Brodsky's Favorite Shot
If I hit some bullshit tennis shot off the frame or off the net and it falls in for a winner, don't hold your breathe waiting for that pussy little hand wave
Fucking Canadians
We are building the goddamn wall on the wrong side. We need to keep those fucking happy Canadians out of this country.
Revenge through plumbing
There is a town in Arizona founded on shit and piss. And if you can't stand the people who put the orange Putin puppet in power, you should go there on July 1.
Sex Ed in Akron Ohio
Change of pace -- no reading for you illiterate mother fuckers. Lewis Black will read it for you. @TheLewisBlack #TheRantIsDue
Green grass – kiss my ass
I have always hated grass in all of its non-smokable forms. In Akron in 1969, the sneaky old woman, who gave birth to me, challenged my 7-year-old manhood and s
