If you don't want to eat meat or dairy or anything with eyes, just keep crunching your broccoli and shut your fucking mouth about it.
All the Feelings of a Head of Lettuce
Tag: featured
The Dicks of Palm Springs
I don't have any evidence to prove it, but I swear to your imaginary God the old dicks of Palm Springs are the only thing keeping the economy surging
Wingman T-ball — Update
Jesus was sitting on the other side of the table starring at the waitresses' tits. She walks away and he leers at the rest of us letting us know his intent
You are just a Fucking Pussy
The rules for what makes a man are changing, but that doesn't give any of you a license to become a complete pussy.
Joe Brodsky's Favorite Shot
If I hit some bullshit tennis shot off the frame or off the net and it falls in for a winner, don't hold your breathe waiting for that pussy little hand wave
Fucking Canadians
It's Canada Day today... So I thought I'd send this friendly message to our northern neighbors... Don't get your knickers in a twist - of course this is just more of my bullshit.
Sex Ed in Akron Ohio
Change of pace -- no reading for you illiterate mother fuckers. Lewis Black will read it for you. @TheLewisBlack #TheRantIsDue
Green grass – kiss my ass
I have always hated grass in all of its non-smokable forms. In Akron in 1969, the sneaky old woman, who gave birth to me, challenged my 7-year-old manhood and s
My Generation
My generation sucks. And if you think I'm talking about "The Who" song, you are probably part of the problem.
Douchebag Millennials
This generation of douchebag millennials is lazy, stupid and incompetent...
