If I was smart, I would have gone to Las Vegas on Sunday. On Saturday, I hit the fucking Rant is Due lottery -- Lewis Black read another of my little stories.
I've been writing this bullshit for two-and-a-half-years. Jesus, I could have had a master's degree by now. In those 30 months, I've gone from 5 to about 8 readers. Following how my god damn generation raised all these douchebags, when you hit 8 participants, it's time to present the participation trophies.
I might have to break a couple of semi-famous thumbs.
Fucking 57-years-old and what do you get? Another participation trophy and deeper in debt.
We regret to inform you that your marketing efforts are failing -- for us. As you may already know, the Bullshit blog has several entries to include the shit Lewis was kind enough to read in his "Rant is Due" tirades.
What do you call that little strip of grass between the sidewalk and the street? If you are from Akron, Ohio, you call it the Devil Strip.
This is what I wrote: "Hey Lewis, I'm here tonight and have an urgent problem. I've got one dose of Immodium left, and I can't remember if it stops diarrhea...
Last weekend, the Bear said "the Bear hit a home run, didn't I." Yes, you did honey -- but the 3rd person "nickname" reference is fucking weird. Anyway...
I got busted by the copyright police on fucking YouTube. The Bear told my brother I was a "writer" for Lewis Black. Of course he didn't believe her
It's Canada Day today... So I thought I'd send this friendly message to our northern neighbors... Don't get your knickers in a twist - of course this is just more of my bullshit.