Savages – Kieran's Humor

Tag: Savages

Rotterator

By Kieran on October 12, 2021 • ( 2 Comments )

Opened the fridge door — damn that smelled like shit. I knew exactly what to blame. That 18-inch long bag of celery.

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No Thanks — Savages

By Kieran on November 26, 2020 • ( 8 Comments )

While other people ignore the warnings and pack the airports, there will be no big Savage family Thanksgiving. Can’t have 20-plus people gather in 2020.

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COW Surprise

By Kieran on March 3, 2020 • ( 6 Comments )

There are hours (never full days) when I miss being a teacher. Then the Bear tells me “how her day went” and I remember: ohh that shit sucks.

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That was My God Damn Cookie

By Kieran on February 21, 2019 • ( 5 Comments )

Saturday morning there were 3 cookies left — the Savage chocolate chip cookies with just the right amount of crack.

“Those are for you and your brother,” the Bear said. “You figure out how to share them.”

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All My Grass is Plastic

By Kieran on December 29, 2018 • ( 8 Comments )

It only took 6 years to beat the Nazis. The Odyessey was done in 10. Wimps. It took me 50 years to finally win “the grass wars.”

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Fat Biker: Clueless Riders

By Kieran on November 15, 2018 • ( 5 Comments )

My clueless riders, didn’t ask and didn’t know those things. They just assumed that everyone thinks it’s OK to endanger and maybe kill other people who don’t look like or sound like you.

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Tamales Taste Much Better — Now

By Kieran on November 8, 2018 • ( 15 Comments )

My first tamale was “the Charles Barkley” of tamales, “terrible, just terrible.”

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Savage Boil

By Kieran on October 2, 2018 • ( 5 Comments )

I thought it was “hot” outside when we had “Thanks-grilling”, until the Bear decided we should do a Savage Shrimp Boil in early September.

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Susan B. Anthony got Spade

By Kieran on September 4, 2018 • ( 5 Comments )

The fucking Savages started this trend of mini-dogs. The Boy followed and several months ago picked up a 13-pound rat that exhibits dog-like behavior.