Lewis Black hates tennis. But he closed his show in Austin, Texas on Friday, Nov. 22 with a little tale about the John Newcombe Tennis Ranch. (video)
We are all born with some anti-social "behaviors" like monkeys flinging shit in a zoo; until our families, "friends" and classmates beat the rules of society into our thick skulls.
It's taken me months to fully admit it... But I can now say I was sexually harassed on a boat in Alaska.
I was just two windows away from my second possible menage-a-trois, and I'm so old, I didn't even turn around to look.
It had been a long day and a half in a crowded room listening to stories about work while not getting any work done. I couldn't wait to head over to Hooters. It had been built in our imaginations like a combination of Camelot and Plato's Retreat. It was the first Hooters in the state -- newly opened in downtown Phoenix.
I tried to play volleyball, once. Nearly, got my nose broken (by the Bear) and almost got in a different fight. It was early in our relationship. Shortly after I ate the tamale husks to impress the Savages.
I only have one "sex" story that I used to share in public. I was 16 years old and working at the ghetto grocery store that was a few blocks from my parents' house. One winter night around 9 p.m. I was rounding up the last of the shopping carts in the parking lot. This tiny little rusted out piece-of-shit sedan was a rockin'.