This week I have to decide if I'm going to join the Pendejos on their annual pilgrimage to the Newcombe tennis ranch (Newks) in New Buttfuck, Texas
Players have been bailing off the sinking ship of my fucked up tennis team so fast we renamed ourselves the "Rats" (maybe*). Sure, sure you read the tennis team category, and you know everybody left because of this Bullshit Blog. Fuck you -- you are only partially right. I will stipulate the Wingman T-ball story … Continue reading Recruiting Crustaceans
Hi, my name is Kieran, and I am a pathetic, hopeless alcoholic -- at least according to the Bear I am.
There's no fucking free lunch in this world, and that applies to beer too, goddamnit.
Grown-ass men tell me to "watch my language" when kids are around. Fuck that.
Jesus was sitting on the other side of the table starring at the waitresses' tits. She walks away and he leers at the rest of us letting us know his intent
Goddamnit, Indian Wells changed the margarita glasses at the fucking tennis tournament this year.
Well, well, looky who volunteered to captain our fucked-up tennis team this season: Julian, the ODM (Original Douchebag Millennial). We didn't even get to start the first match before the fucking universe brought down a cloud of karma on his head. Fellow douchebag, Sherwin, bailed out of the match 2 minutes before warm up -- … Continue reading A letter from Kieran to his "douchebag millennial" tennis team
I'm thinking of buying a white van and a long rope, so I can get you dumb shits to follow the eternal fucking rules of rec tennis.
It's the US Open mother fuckers, time to celebrate tennis. But I just had to go to the uspen.org website and fucking ruin it.